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The Colbert Report/Episode/512
Production Info |- |} |- |} Intro SEGMENT1 * we really ought to do thins more often * lots of unemployment out there ** we need to fill the job of Word Czar * peruse means the opposite of what Dr. Colbert thought it meant * flammable and inflammable mean the same thing * new Word Czar should be Professional Michael Steele * the dictionary a job is a piece of work ** work is defined as employment *** therefore Shut Up George Stephanopoulos * job is something that a business owner creates that is long-term ** if it has an end-point it's not a job ** the only job the government creates is soldier in Iraq * Tower of Babel Threat Down * job that lasts a lifetime: fearmonger 5 Michael Phelps- his aerobic conditioning will break :: lung capacity of 14 Seth Rogans :: doesn;'t own a black light poster of a panther 4 Bill Gates- released mosquitoes :: why should only the poor be struck with malaria :: they prefer poor people's blood :: it was a Microsoft release (there's no way it didn't have a virus) ::: find a cure for Bill Gates 3 Japanese Sewage- authorities found gold in the sewars :: Japanese learned how to poop gold :: Americans must take this sitting down 2 Gay Divorce- lesbians want to get a divorce :: the Bible says only between a man and a woman 1 Shadow God- Telebrion (Tenebrion?) has been angered :: chase him back to the shadow horn! :: will swallow the moon :: sound the claxons! Winning A Grammy * Dr. Colbert's throat is officially golden ** won Grammy for Best Spoken Word Album *** Dr. Colbert has always been good at speaking words * Dr. Colbert assumes he won ** broke it during the Grammy preshow when he realized that he was watching the Grammy preshow * He fast forwarded it through the non-Stephen part to watch when he won ** Jimmy interrupted to say he shouldn't watch it * Stephen's category wasn't aired ** like Oscars Jessica Alba hands out at the Beverly Sheridan * Jimmy tells Stephen Al Gore! stole his Grammy ** he doesn't care they gave Album of the Year to the cashiers at Long John's Silvers * Stephen takes a vow of silence ** will stop talking forever * he pulls up a audio player that has a pre-recorded rant about losing the Grammy to Al Gore! * Al Gore! is the Fine Young Cannibals of politics ** because he looks like he ate Tipper Interview * TV on the Radio ** David Andrew Sitek ** Kyp Malone, the bearded one ** Tunde Adebimpe * named Album of the Year by Entertainment Weekly * The Grammys are so irrelevant now * new album called "Dear Science" ** they're saying goodbye to it ** it didn't write back * previous album "Return to Cookie Mountain" * Stephen warned them about getting The Colbert Bump ** they will soon lose their indy cred * they're in it for the money ** you can't eat * they're influenced by ** Bunker Sorbet ** Brian Eno ** David Bowie ** The Archies Performance * "Dancing Choose" Epilogue * Dr. Colbert thanked his guests TV on the Radio and wished The Heroes goodnight! Gallery Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Official Truthy Videos * Colbert Nation Home Tube External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments